Peter McKay: 5 kids no help on moving day

January 21, 2017
in Kids

About 20 years ago, my wife and I realized that we were reproducing at an alarming rate. Every time we turned around, there was a new baby crawling across the floor. We made two important decisions. First, when we hit the magic number of five, we stopped. It’s a big family but not in the Duggar range. Second, we moved our master bedroom up to the third floor of our house just so I could get away from the chaos. Our third floor, originally meant as an attic, is hot in the summer and freezing in the winter, but it has one advantage: It was away from the kids. There’s a door at the top of the steps we could lock, and even if we didn’t lock it, I could hear a child coming up those creaky stairs well in advance, so I could hide under the bed until he or she went away. The five kids have been out of the house for some time now, and really it’s just my wife and me these days. So for about six months, my wife has been telling me that it’s crazy to live up in the attic like lunatic relatives who need to be hidden. It was time to move downstairs. There’s one problem. My wife and I married very young. In the early years, my in-laws, concerned that their daughter had married a kid who brought nothing to the marriage except a duffle bag and a stack of National Lampoon magazines, decided that we needed proper furniture. They spent the next few...

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